Funnel web spiders - they’re aggressive little bastards, totally lethal and they will eat you whole (ok, that last bit is an exaggeration).

What’s more, they really look the part. If they were people, they’d be mean nasty pirates, except their hook would be tipped with poison and their wooden leg would double as a lance. Actually, they’d either be pirates, or Jack Bauer. Or the evil love child of pirates and Jack Bauer. Go to this list of the top 100 facts about Jack Bauer, replace all mentions of Jack Bauer with funnel web spiders, and you’ll get my point.

I’m gradually putting together a shop for all things funnel web spider, and am documenting the process on this here blog.

Oh, and don’t be dissing funnel web spiders or the Flying Spaghetti Monster will have your arse (with his Noodly Appendage, and Jack Bauer) for messing with the pirate people. In fact, as far as you’re concerned, the New Holy Trinity is:

  • Our Father, the Flying Spaghetti Monster,
  • The Son, Jack Bauer, and
  • The Holy Ghost, Funnel Web Spiders.